I’ve been toying with the idea of an “older” live-action Justice League movie since Snyder announced he wanted a more seasoned Batman.  I know that ideally if you want to start a franchise then your best bet is to grab those actors when they’re young so you can sign them on to 10 films.  Let’s pretend none of that matters, this is my dreamcasting article and I want an older team with lots of experience, lots of history, and lots of making fun of each other.  Basically I want the chemistry of Ocean’s Thirteen with the wardrobe consisting of capes and cowls.

 

Jon Hamm as Batman

My perfect Batman is not the heroic focal point of the story.  Bruce is my least favorite part of the franchise.  He needs to be emotionally distant with an air of condescension that is palpable and crippling.  However, despite his constant vigilantism and work on the gritty streets of Gotham it’s impossible for him to not look the part of the handsome, charismatic heir the second he steps out of the costume.  Who better to convey the panty-dropping, arrogance of Bruce Wayne while still the commanding brilliance of the Dark Knight other than Don Draper himself?  Jon has the looks, the charm, and the unmistakable glaze of self-imposed loneliness hiding behind those eyes to be the perfect Caped Crusader.

 

Dermot Mulroney as Superman

I’ll admit, Dermot is a little short to be the best Clark Kent but what he lacks in height he makes up for in everyman-likability.  And that’s my absolute favorite thing about Superman, his mild-mannered alter ego.  There’s nothing he wants more than to be a normal guy but he could never pretend to be a regular human long enough to ignore the cries of help.  He is the ultimate boy scout and when boy scouts grow up they become scoutmasters.  Dermot has the chops to play Lois’ loving husband one second then switch it up and be the respected (though affectionately teased) leader of the Justice League.  He would be able to capture the crinkly smile Supes gives to friends and civilians but never drop the invisible weight of the world that rests precariously on his shoulders.  Put him in a pair of heeled jackboots and move along.

 

Gina Torres as Wonder Woman

If I have to explain why Gina is perfect to play Diana then I don’t even want to talk to you.  You’re lucky I love her so much I don’t mind raving about how awesome she is.  Gina was put on this earth to play every HBIC ever.  It’s an understatement to say she’s the perfect “strong female role model”.  She’s more than that, she is so much smarter than you without making you feel like you want to cry in a shower fully clothed for an hour.  She could kick your ass in a pencil skirt and Christian Louboutins before you even finish calling her a “bitch”.  And finally she would give immense depth to a character that has been so misused in the last decade.  Gina already is an Amazon princess; Warner Bros just needs to realize it.

 

Nathan Fillion as Green Lantern Hal Jordan

The biggest argument against Nathan Fillion playing Hal has been a unanimous consensus that he is just a smidge too old.  Well, guess what, your time has finally arrived, Captain!  Hal Jordan isn’t wildly relatable; he’s cocky and stubborn and laughs in the face of authority.  But no matter how many times he fully pisses everyone off people still think of him as a hero because he always saves the day.  He doesn’t want help because he would rather put himself in danger than risk the lives of others and when he is put in charge of a team he goes out of his way to protect those he’s responsible for.  Nathan has played both sides of that coin as Mal Reynolds and Captain Hammer.  Hal might be my least favorite Lantern but the second Nathan puts on that suit I would be out of my seat whooping and cheering like an Oprah audience member.

 

Max Martini as Aquaman

I’m really hoping all of you watched Pacific Rim.  If you missed the site-wide PacRim lovefest we had a few months ago then I’ll recap it for you: PACIFIC RIM WAS EFFIN’ AMAZING AND YOU NEED TO WATCH IT A THOUSAND MORE TIMES.  Phew, now that’s out of the way.  Besides amazing cinematography, a feel-good story, and a batch of well-written diverse heroes it delivered another tasty treat: Max Martini.  He has the rugged good-looks of action hero but the complexity to put real emotion behind a simple character.  Arthur Curry has developed quite a new fan base over the last two years with his New 52 update and while it sometimes lacks finesse (which I mostly blame on Geoff Johns being spread too thinly) I feel like Max would be able to add layers of profoundness to a character most remember for just talking to fish.

 

Keith David as Martian Manhunter

I could have gone in any direction with this because J’onn is a shapeshifter and could look like anyone, which means I needed someone who could balance the solemn heartache and the child-like curiosity of the Martian.  Keith David is a very experienced actor but I feel like he’s already played this kind of character? Oh yeah, GOLIATH.  On Gargoyles Goliath was the brave leader who inspired his merry band of misfits to protect those who couldn’t protect themselves in a time that was strange and dangerous for them.  He didn’t shy away from the new world and all its wonder; he learned and took delight in being a part of it.  Keith David brought life to a script and I want him to do that again.  Only this time, with Oreos!

 

Michael Rosenbaum as Wally West The Flash

He won audiences over as Lex Luthor in Smallville.  He won ladies over when he voiced Deadshot. But Michael Rosenbaum became a geek legend when he brought humor and style to the loveable Wally West.  Most comic fans already had a soft spot in their hearts for Wally because he was The Flash for so long and, quite honestly, Barry is super boring.  Justice League Unlimited turned Wally into the comic relief but instead of comic fans lashing out and calling bullshit, we rejoiced! I try to remind people that some actors are funny and some just play funny characters.  Michael Rosenbaum is actually funny.  He has been blessed with perfect comedic timing and a dynamic moxie that makes people yearn to be his friend even in real life.  He already voiced Wally perfectly, with his slim frame and broad shoulders dress him up in red and yellow, he was made for this role.

 

I know this is a pretty implausible casting but who cares, I’ve given up on Warner Bros.  They can keep making the movies they want to make, but if you ask me we don’t need “darker, grittier” superheroes.  We need awesome role models to look up to.  And I’m just getting too old to pretend I respect heroes who brood more than Ryan Atwood.